Today marks a kind of milestone for HPM’s Real Talk. This is the first entry that I will be allowing active commenting on the site as opposed to through email. I’m doing this partially because of the topic that I will be writing about today. Overall I will be talking about a whether or not a woman should pursue a man but at the same time I will be paralleling with how to receive your blessing. Let’s see how this works out.
We’ve all at one point in time or another if you have been in church for any length of time the scripture in Proverbs 18:22 “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD”! Which means we have probably all heard it taught that a woman should NEVER pursue a man and the person who taught that used this scripture to back up their statement. Well I am here to tell you that doctrine of teaching is absolutely completely incorrect. “WHAT?” That’s right incorrect! A woman not pursuing a man is like not going after the blessing the Lord promised you. Let’s look more closely at this.
The scripture says whosever finds a wife, now before you go any further you must understand what “wife” means. Wife is not a person, contrary to popular belief. Wife is a characteristic in a woman that a man should see before he takes her hand in marriage. The things that make up wife the character are found in the infamous virtuous woman scripture of proverbs 31. Things like it says in verse 12; “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Or verse 26; “She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” That chapter is a skeleton outline for the things that are made up of the character called wife which is a characteristic that should be found in a woman. A man’s ability to see that in you woman has nothing to do with whether or not you go after him or he comes for you. I was asked in response to the Dating 101 blog entry this question: “I’ve always been told that God will send you someone and you will know so does that mean one should never look around?” Because of what this person was told they were on track to missing whom God would send their across their path.
See, sometimes when God has something (or someone) for you, one must fight for it. Now before some of yall go crazy I’m not saying go out and break up someone’s marriage cus you believe God said that’s my boo. God don’t work like that contrary to what you may believe. Sometimes, however, God will send something your way but the enemy’s job is to keep it from you. So what are you going to do, sit back and watch the devil walk off with what God promised you? I hope not. The same principal applies to women and obtaining your mate. Sometimes God may speak to you first concerning the relationship because the man may be dealing with other things, issues, or spiritual battles and isn’t in a position to hear God about it. How can one see what God has for you if you aren’t expecting and looking for it? The children of Israel (at the time called the Hebrew children) at the time of Moses had to leave Egypt to get to the promised land, in other words they had to go look for it. Then when they got their low and behold there were people occupying the land they had to drive out, in other words they had to fight for it. To think that the devil is going to allow you to line up with God’s will especially in marriage is plum crazy. Much like I said in Dating 101 relationships are a give and take. The man you know is yours may have a fear of rejection and is petrified of asking you out but you are as bold as they come and stupidly awaiting him to come to you cus you think that a woman shouldn’t go after a man.
That ignorant doctrine comes from a time when the only women who pursued men where whores. So in order not to be perceived as a whore they didn’t go after them but watch this; whores were also the only women other than married women who were caught alone with a man; don’t you allow dates to take you to the movies just the 2 of you? Well then, what is the difference? Asking a man out doesn’t make you a whore any more than going to a movie with him. It doesn’t matter who initiates the dating process, he still has to see the wife characteristic in you. That’s why the dating 101 entry is so important, it shows you how to seek God for your mate because as you do (coupled with you and God talking about the 3 lists) you’ll have no choice but to work on you and develop the virtuous woman in you.
What God has for you is for you that is a true statement but you can miss it if you see it and don’t go get it. That blessing isn’t going to sit and wait there for you forever. You’ve got to go claim your blessing. Yes your mate is your blessing; the end of that verse says that you obtain favor from the Lord. Well if the husband obtains favor don’t you think the wife does too? The favor of God lends itself to the blessing of the Lord. You can’t receive a true blessing from God without having His hand of favor on your life.
All of what I said can be applied as well to other blessings too. If you have a dream or a vision, go after it; stop waiting on it to come to you. Seek God on the when and how to pursue it but go after it. You don’t want your window of opportunity to close on you. You don’t want to get to heaven and see Jesus and hear Him say I had so much more for you son, I had so much more for you daughter but you never went after it. You let fear or people keep you from what I laid aside for you. This is the age and era of abundance for God’s people (be careful because it is also the age and era of judgment on God’s people). Whatever you want from God you can obtain but you must be willing to go after it. You must be willing to fight for it. There will be haters and opposition in the way but you must fight through it anyway because those haters will be made into believers when you get your blessing. They will see where you came from and what God has given you and have no choice but to say it’s the Lords doing and it’s marvelous in our eyes. It’s time to stop being spectators in God seeing others be married, others be blessed, others get their hearts desire an you still “waiting on God”, here’s a reality check God’s waiting on you and He has all the time in the world and then some, how much do you have. Go after what God has for you but again I say seek Him first and He will direct your path. Please feel free to leave your thoughts below. Remember Grow in God’s Grace and Abide in His Love.
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