Sick and Tired

    Sick and Tired                                                                     by Jesse C. Jones

This is my letter to church folk and the church in general as well as others. There will be some of you who read this and think wow what a butt hole he is, there will be some of you who think these are thoughts I have had myself. There will also be some of you who read this and think I’ve never come across that and I know he can’t be talking to me. Lastly there will probably be some of you who applaud this note as well as those who hate it but truthfully, I am not doing this for any of the possibly mentioned groups. I am doing it because it’s in me to do and I feel very strongly that it needs to be done because I am just sick and tired of what I see going on but most of all I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am sick and tired of the hypocritical church. The church that says on one hand they want Christ and the more there of but don’t have the balls to do what it takes to be a true follower of Christ. They won’t go out into the streets and win the lost, they won’t love their fellow church member let alone their neighbor. I’m sick and tired of hearing the garbage spewed from pulpits Sunday after Sunday of all this happiness and God told us to take the city and no one doing anything to truly take it. I am sick and tired of people going hungry and the Church not willing to come together to feed them. Small churches complain they have no money and resources while big churches complain they don’t have time when if they just partnered up feeding and clothing could be done. I am sick and tired of seeing other religions like Scientology and Catholicism (yes I count Catholicism as an alternate religion deal with it) hoarding all the money of people to build their outstanding untouchable cathedrals draped in lavishness and opulence while churches who look to truly promote Christ and Kingdom work struggle to raise $100 to pay bills let alone do effective outreach. I’m sick and tired of Pastors and church leaders with the me mentality. A mentality that says if I can’t profit from it or it doesn’t build my church I’m not supporting it. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I’m sick and tired of everyone being a Reverend, a Pastor, an Apostle, a Prophet but no church nor integrity that allows them to walk worthy of the call for which they are called. Reverends just walking around screaming call me Rev, Pastors who don’t teach with transparency and truth, Apostles and Bishops who can’t run their own church houses let alone be trusted to oversee many, Evangelist who wouldn’t know what true evangelism is if there was a book on it (oh wait there is), and prophets HA! We have prophets who couldn’t prophesy their way out of a paper bag to save their life and wouldn’t know the true voice of God from Jerry Springer let alone speak with the boldness it takes to cast out demons of religion and division. Got the devil screaming, “Paul I know, Jesus I know, but who the hell are you?” I’m sick and tired of there being no accountability and no truth in God’s house anymore and few giving a damn to say anything about it for fear of what Pastor will say instead of fear of what God will do. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I’m sick and tired of Jesus Christ’s name being the laughing-stock of jokes from comedians (some whom are my favorites) like Bill Maher and the late great George Carlin because the church has lost its power and it’s caused His name to be mocked and not yours. I’m sick and tired of the youth and young adults having no voice and the old feeling they have gotten no respect. When the truth is that the youth and young adults would have a voice if they respected the older generation more and the older generation would get the respect they crave if they just simply listened with no judgment to the youth and allowed them to give God glory they way that He implanted in them while helping them to perfect it for His use and not the world’s. I’m sick and tired of seeing stars and celebrities worshiped and exalted in places of favor and wealth while the name of Jesus Christ is censored and forsaken. I’m sick and tired of the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer and when a voice rises up to say something he or she is struck down with the fury of a hurricane. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I’m sick and tired of you! You who will read this and mock, you who will hear this and do nothing, you who call yourselves saved and followers of God but do more to hinder the word of God and the name of Jesus the all the Atheists and Agnostics combined. You who are the reason for church hurt and people fleeing the church for all the hypocrisy and ignorance flowing from the doorways like the bowels of an upset stomach. I’m sick and tired of you! You who are so easily distracted by the shiny objects the enemy puts in front of your face to knock you from walking in your purpose and be productive therein. You who fail not because you don’t try but because you are too scared to and use the ignorant crutch that says “if it was meant to be it will be,” failing to remember FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD! I’m sick and tired of people who come in and begin to do something and change their lives around being torn down as radicals who don’t know anything not by the world but by their own in the church. The very ones who call themselves family.  People who tear down Steve Harvey while he has made tremendous strides in his life to get a pure relationship with God, people like President Barrack Obama because we fail to realize he is the President of the United States not the president of blacks and church folk. Yet we exalt and try to push into heaven people like Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson (both who I have respect for) who died do to their own mistakes as if we know where they ended up and what happened just before they died. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I’m sick and tired of no love not only in the world who doesn’t know or understand the true meaning of it but in the church the place that is supposed to have a relationship with He who is love. Yet we ask the world to swallow our tainted, polluted, virus and disease riddled pill of hate wrapped in bitterness and distain for anyone who is doing better than we are or is striving for a relationship with God by saying what I say I say in love. I’m sick of false, fake, ignorant Christians who have the audacity to quote scripture they don’t truly know the meaning of let alone how to live it. Always with your “you know the bible says or you need to read,” meanwhile don’t have the anointing it takes to save themselves from an attack from the cover let alone an attack from the enemy. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So no longer will I be sick and tired but I will be well and will speak up no matter how you like it or don’t, because as I said in a previous letter I am a truth teller and I dare not back down from it. I don’t care what you think of me for I’ve grown past your click-ish hypocrisies and tongues of lying blasphemy. I will speak truth and will say it loud and for and to the Glory of God that people be set free. Set free from the mess not just in this world but in the triffin church who won’t lift a finger to help anyone who isn’t related to themselves. Set free from all the mess around them trying to bind and beat them like the African slaves of old. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired so if someone has to break this mess then I say since I’m sick and tired why not let it be me.

For those of you who weren't completely offended by that lol and even if you were remember Grow in God's Grace and Abide in His love.

Your Name, Your ID, Your Purpose...Do You Know It.

One of the deepest statements I have heard in recent years came from the most unlikely of sources….Steve Harvey (don’t worry this is not about Think Like A Man Act Like A Lady). Though it isn’t a shock to me that it came from him it maybe a shock to some of my readers that I am referencing him. I reference him because the statement he made is the context of something I have been teaching for years. Steve said “The 2 most important days in your life is the day you were born and the day you find out why!” Man that’s deep. Even if it isn’t deep to you it is deep to me. What Steve was talking about was your purpose now purpose isn’t the topic of today’s entry it does have something to do with it. See today’s topic deals with the importance of your identity and the role your name plays in it.

Most people I know have a misconstrued opinion about identity and your name. Your identity is who you are; your name is who you are. Which says your identity and your name are basically one in the same. Think of it this way, if a cop pulls you over and asks to see your I.D (identity) you pull out your driver’s license and the first thing the cop looks at is…….your name. Why is that? It’s because your name is your ID, then he looks at the picture to make sure you really are the name that they ID belongs to. If you go to open a checking account they ask you for 2 forms of ID both forms must have on it…..your name. Why is that? Again, it’s because your name is your ID. Now if your name is your ID and your name is who you are and your name has a definition (as all names do whether you know yours or not) than the definition of your name is who you are. This my friends is the power of words. The Holy Bible says in Proverbs 18:21: Death and Life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it will eat the fruit thereof. All that means is that words have power, they have the power to bring life to a situation or death it all depends on what you say. If your name has a definition and your name is you that means you are the word of your name personified. Meaning you are walking around life or death just by being you. My wife knows someone whose name is Wrath (no joke that is his actual name). Let’s look at the definition of Wrath according to Dictionary.com.  Wrath is strong, stern, or fierce anger; deeply resentful indignation; ire. Now would anyone be surprised if I told you that this kid has anger management issues? Probably not because His name means that and if you think he is trying to live up to his name your wrong. This kid barely knows what the word means yet he exemplifies its very definition. He is always throwing toys at other kids, pushing them around, taking stuff from other kids. When you try to talk to him, he throws these horrible tantrums. HIS NAME IS WRATH PEOPLE! His name has shaped his destiny. That is a spirit he’ll have to battle for the rest of his life.

Please realize that the reason for this is because his parents who didn’t understand the spiritual power their words have (saved or not) spoke this over the life of their son. Now even if he doesn’t want to he is that thing and will have to fight it. Why do you think God is in the habit of changing the names of His people, Sari to Sarah, Abram to Abraham, Saul to Paul, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter. He did so because in changing their name He was changing their destiny and making a covenant with their destiny. Whether you realize it or not your name dictates a lot of your decisions which dictates your destiny. I was in a discussion on FB concerning names and I was amazed that some of the people I thought would think it has an effect didn’t. Your name is you and therefore is your destiny. Jesus’ name means Savior isn’t that what He came to do seek and to SAVE them which are lost (Luke 19:10)? Lucifer even had a name change we now call him Satan which literally means the adversary of God (according to dictionary.com), why because His destiny changed from that of the chief praise and worship leader in heaven to the enemy of God and all He stands for. 

I bring all of this up to help you understand that your purpose, your true purpose not your passion or desire but the reason you were created is contained in your name. When you learn what your name means you will find out your purpose and the only way to change that is for God to give you a new name. So in truth you ought to find out what God calls you and the only way to do that is to develop a true relationship with Him. You can do that or risk wondering your life hoping to stumble upon your purpose. Once you find the purpose for your life you can better than know how to live. Your name is your identity and wrapped there in is your purpose. I pray this has been some help to someone struggling to find purpose in your life. Be careful what you name a thing (your situation, your spouse, your job, your kids, or yourself) because what you name it you have defined. Grow in God’s Grace and Abide In His Love!



Reflections of a Child turned Father

As I reflect this Father's Day on being a parent. I’m finding out things about me I had never known before. I am finding out about the patience I have and impatience I have. I am finding out that much the more what it means to love someone so much that sometimes it hurts. For you see my daughter is quite possibly one of the bravest, most stubborn, sweet, innocent, obnoxious, loving, caring, irritating, did I mention stubborn, beautiful, independent child that I have ever known. I love her so much that I want to see the best for her more than she will ever realize but that love sometimes goes against what her will is. There are times of conflict where I would have her to do one thing or act one way and she wills do it the total opposite way. There are times where she whether do to ignorance or independence will go off and do things that could be potentially dangerous to her but her naivety doesn’t allow her to see that decision could be costly. Yet I love her anyway and it hurts deep inside to see her in any kind of pain, to see her make a mistake, or see her not get the best things she desires.

As I reflect on being the father of a teenage daughter I realize more and more how much she can sometimes resemble my relationship to Christ. There are times when He would have us to go or say or do and we do the exact opposite because we think we know better. We as parents know our sacrifice for our children and at the drop of a hat would give our lives for them simply to see their desires be fulfilled and for them to not have to struggle. Christ has done the same for us and yet like a teenage child we sometimes take the sacrifice for granted. My daughter has a tendency much like most teenagers to think she is entitled to certain things because she knows we would do anything for her. How many times have we as Christians taken Jesus for granted and feel he just ought to bless us because if nothing else that’s what He’s always done and He says He loves us so….



My Family - Me, my wife Falonda, and my daugher Ashley. God has been so good to me!


As I reflect on this monumental responsibility called parenthood I reflect on the thought that in order to be a better parent it means I must be a better child. I must not take my God for granted, I must obey His way for He knows best even if I want to go another way, I must leave those behind He shows me are no good for me, I must keep His words close to me and remember them at all times, I must spend more time with Him and get to know Him and develop this relationship even more closely than ever before. Doing these things will cause me to be a better parent because my Heavenly Father will show me and direct me how to be a better father. He will increase my love for my daughter to the outpouring of love that He has for me not merely an unconditional love, but an eternal love that penetrates past the flesh to the spirit and soul and with compassion compels righteousness to come forth. Discipline which is to correct when correction is needed but freedom to experience the mistakes that are sure to come that will help develop her to be who God has called her to be and with love be there for her with love during those mistakes.

Through this reflection I have learned that I have had fatherhood completely wrong. I used to think that in order to be a good father one had to look at the child and that finished product of a child now turned adult would dictate whether or not the father was a good and effective father. But I have learned and am now in the state of practicing that what it means to be a good father is one’s ability to love your child through good times and bad, richer and poorer, sickness and health, obedience and rebellion (yes just like marriage vows) till death do you part. A good father is love. A love that no matter how that child turns out; because it is up to that child, that you as the father (parent) love them. Love them with when they become what you see and when they don’t. Love them! It’s a concept that seems foundational and basic but when I say love them I mean to:
Listen to God’s direction
Obey His commandment for each situation
Validate and cherish the gift He’s given you
Educate and impart into them what God has imparted into you with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding

Train them to love, obey, and hear the voice of God
Help them; as they will struggle along the way
Edify them in the faith of God & in their natural minds, speaking well of their good & correcting their bad
Maintain the edicts and precepts of a Godly house and what it means to be a Godly person in their ear daily.

These are the things I have learned and prayerfully as I grow and become a better father, I do so not at her expense but my growth causes her to grow and become even greater than whatever it is that I am.

Ashley I love you more than you know and am glad and proud to call you my daughter.

I hope and pray that this message though as a tribute to my daughter Ashley and a reflection on what she has taught me and God has revealed to me that parents both single parents and non single parents alike will read this and be blessed by this and take note of what it means to be a parent and to truly love your child. Train them up as the bible teaches, training invovles instruction, correction, direction, and information but it also involves leadership by example. Be the example for your child just as God was the example for us. Grow in God's Grace and Abide in His Love!

Dating 104.....Personality vs Character and their value in a Relationship

Dating 104……Character vs. Personality and their value in a relationship.

Due to the many requests that come into me, I’ve decided to go ahead and do another installment blog entry for those dating and in relationships. Now being that I have done a few of these some of you may be wondering to yourself if I am some sort of guru or asking about my credentials to be able to speak and teach the way I do about relationships. Allow me to answer these first before I get into it even though I know that most of you probably won’t like the answer that you get.  I am not (for the record) a guru nor have I ever professed to be. I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. The things that I share with you concerning dating and relationships are things that I have ascertained over my life of dating with one failed marriage and one (now and still) successful marriage. They are bits of information that has been revealed to me through the process of dating as well as the thoughtful council of prayer and study (both natural study and spiritual study). I have counseled relationships since I was 16 years old and have a pretty good track record as it relates to helping people with their relationships. This blog WILL NOT turn into an ask Jesse column however from time to time I feel led or compelled to share some of the insight I have gained. You may take it or leave it. I do my best not to talk to the specifics of relationships because that differs from person to person. What works with me and my wife may not work for you and yours because you aren’t us. However, there are foundational principals I deal with that can be universally applied.  Now with all that said let’s have some Real Talk…..

In any relationship one has to take some time and do a relationship assessment. This is whether you are married or just simply dating. This assessment is like mid-terms in school, it is supposed to give you an indication as to how well you are doing in the relationship and what may need to be worked on. I suggest doing this alone before you make the attempt to do it with your significant other (mate or spouse). This is also supposed to help you assess (if you are dating) if this relationship is worth continuing the pursuit or not.  The biggest thing that should be assessed is what isn’t working.  Not that you don’t look at what is but the things that are working can only stay strong so long as the things that aren’t working get strengthened or understood. 

Here’s a practical (biblical) example of what I am talking about. The scriptures declare that a little leaven leavens the whole lump (Galatians 5:7-9). What it is simply saying is that it only takes a little bit of mess to spoil a good thing. If you have a loaf of bread and 2 or 3 pieces of the bread have mold on it most people will throw the entire loaf away, why, because the mold either has or is very close to working its way through the whole loaf. For this reason you want to strengthen the things that aren’t working (while yes still acknowledging the things that are).

 In this pursuit of trying to strengthen what doesn’t work through evaluation one must consider is the problem being address a character issue or a personality issue.  Here’s the difference personality is defined by dictionary.com as:   a person as an embodiment of a collection of qualities, while character is defined as:  the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

A person’s personality is something that can be changed (and we all have done it) over time and sometimes at the drop of a hat or whim. It is something that is created as a result of need or through learned behavior.  A person’s personality is their make-up they put on or clothes they wear that get them through a day. For example at work I’m extremely professional and usually very quiet. So the people that know me only through my secular job generally think of me as a hard working to himself kind of person. There are those who are reading this that know me that are shaking their heads as if to say they don’t really know me and that’s so true. People who know Minister Jesse know me as a very passionate, silly, in your face, doesn’t care what he says nor to whom he says it as long as it’s God’s will. They know me as a dance minister, a praiser, a worshiper, a teacher, and constantly looking to hear from God for his next step.  Then there are those who know Jesse. They know the full me, they know that each portion of those things people know about me in other arenas are only pieces that make up the full puzzle picture of me. They know that at work I’m not a praiser or worshiper (outwardly) because the professional world you can’t be praise and worship and bible all the time and keep your job. They also know that at church or in a ministerial capacity I don’t need to be quote unquote professional because those that I minister to aren’t looking to hear from someone who they can’t relate to. They aren’t looking to hear a word from someone who can seem stuck up (let’s face it profession to most people seems stuck up outside of a professional environment). They are looking to hear from someone who is willing and able to let loose and give God the best most radical praise they have. All of these things are traits about me that make up my personality. These as you see are things that change based off the need of the environment I am in. It’s not being 2-faced it’s being appropriate to the environment I am in. I love football (personality trait) but I don’t have to watch it 24/7 or even talk about it 24/7. A personality can be changed or modified based on necessity or environment. A person’s character these are a different matter.

A person’s character more goes to the heart of who he is. A person’s character deals with a core belief or value system, morals, and general ways of looking at the world. I may not praise at work but I treat people the same at work as I do in church, why, because my character is one that believes in at the very least being respectful to all people. I don’t cheat on my wife, why, because my character is one that is faithful to those whom I love. A person’s character isn’t easily changed and usually the only reason it does change is because something drastic or dramatic (whether consciously or unconsciously) happened that shook their very foundation. When challenged a person will be defiant because it is often felt that when you try to change a person’s character you try to change them. Most everyone I know wants to be accepted for who they are and doesn’t like it when someone tries to change them.

It is this distinction that must be made when assessing the problems that are occurring or the things that aren’t working in your relationship. Everything is not a character issue and everything is not a personality conflict. Once this distinction is made one must go back to the list discussed in Dating 101 and see if the issue (especially if it is a character issue) is one you are willing to tolerate or one that is a deal breaker. Keep in mind that often times something you are willing to tolerate may at first be a deal breaker but over time can evolve into something that's not so bad. When you can understand if the situation you are dealing with is a personality conflict or a character issue you can then determine how to best handle it. Don't treat a personality conflict with as a character issue and don't give a character issue the lightweight of a personality conflict. Deal with each issue seperately and accordingly and you may just save yourself a bunch of unneccessary heartache and headache. I pray that this wasn't too jumbled and is a blessing to someone and as always Grow in God's Grace and Abide In His Love!

The Real Issue

Marriage Civil Rights or Spiritual Issue?

My entry today comes with a foreknowledge that I will most likely be ridiculed by both the Christian and secular communities. I do this with the same attitude that prompted me to start this blog. All week long this week there has been an influx of ridiculous commentary regarding our president’s announcement (President Barack Obama) that he supports homosexual’s right to be married. I have heard a bevy of my colleges be up in arms concerning this decision. They began to scream how anti-bible that it is and that God’s word proclaims that homosexuality is a sin and we should not allow this and we must take a stand and blah blah blah. Here’s the reality, YES homosexuality is a sin. YES the Holy Bible calls it an abomination (of which there are many) in His eyesight. NO the decision is not anti-biblical because as you intelligently read your word, you will find that in the last days these things must be in order for the prophecies of the word to be fulfilled before the rapture. But more to me than all of that NO THIS DECISION IS NOT A SPIRITUAL ISSUE! I am so sick of everyone trying to make this a spiritual issue especially being that most of the people screaming the loudest against it are the ones who aren’t even coming close to living any part of the word of God. This issue of homosexuals being able to be married is an issue of civil rights not a spiritual issue. Allow me (if you haven’t already started cussing me out with your sanctified self) to explain and prove my point.

The first thing one has to understand in order to see where I am coming from is that God and God alone ordains marriage. All this talk about marriage is moot if you haven’t included God in the conversation. God has fashioned your mate for you just as he did for Adam. If you don’t believe that then your base is even further back than what I have time to deal with right now but my biblical backup is in Genesis where God spoke to himself and looked at Adam in his pitiful state and said it is not good that man should be alone.  With that statement God decided to fashion and form woman just for him and created her as a help meet to him. There was no wedding ceremony, no rings exchanged, no vows given to one the other cept Adam seeing her and called her woman and said you are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. That was the first union, now take a real look at it and see that it was ordained and fashioned by God himself. There is no scripture that I am aware of that changes what was done in the beginning so we must stick with the beginning. People have this foul ideology that marriage is an institution between one man and one woman. I say again you don’t know marriage. Marriage is a gift of love exchanged between man and God. That gift given was woman.

Now, if the gift (woman) was not given by God it isn’t marriage. So what am I saying, I am saying there are a multitude of people who have the license which was established generations later to signify and exchange of property had taken place (so the license was more like a receipt than anything else). There are a multitude of people who have it and still aren’t married. They have entered into a commitment, they have entered into a covenant with one another but aren’t married. If God has not given her to you then you aren’t married sorry to be the one to break it to you. She will be created for him and he for her. Millions of straight marriages aren’t true and real marriage but Christians don’t say a word about it. We only talk about the homosexuals and we do that because that is an outward sin we can readily identify. People don’t scream to loud about the lying pastor, or the gossiping first lady, or the mean and cantankerous evangelist, no because they can act like that isn’t them on Sundays but come across their path on Tuesday and see how they are.

There are 2 types of marriages. Marriage ordained by God and marriage commissioned by man. The marriage ordained by God is just that ordained by Him and the only rule is that He fashioned and created that mate specifically for you. With that rule there is a lot that goes in to the fashioning of you and your mate for each other. She is going to push you man to be your best, she is going to challenge you to continually become better. He is going to take you woman and lead you sometimes to uncomfortable places as God leads him. He’s going to direct you to do somethings that you may not be sure about when you first start, but understand you are fashioned for one another for that reason.  When you look at your wife can you say as Adam did, “she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh?” The second type of marriage which has been commissioned by man is an institution that gives rights to couples who have a signed piece of paper saying they are married. There are no other criteria than that. Man marriage doesn’t care if you are compatible for one another, if he’s the leader he is supposed to be, if she is the visionary she is supposed to be all you have to do is sign on the line and you are officially and legally married. With that official piece of paper you get to enjoy extra rights like tax breaks and hospital rights single people don’t get to enjoy. It’s these kinds of rights that homosexuals have been denied for years and they want those same rights. Though (as a Christian) I recognize their relationship is ungodly it is still a relationship and they are still citizens of a country that promises to give equal rights to all people. Now as a black man I know that equal rights thing is bull however as a black man and recognizing our struggles I refuse to not support anyone looking to gain rights that they should have just as we had to fight for ours.

Lastly I’ll say this and quit because I can feel the spiritual daggers being thrown at me. As Christians our job isn’t to force people to do or be right. Jesus didn’t force us to accept Him how dare you think you have the right to do that to anyone else. That’s the problem you are trying to change people and that isn’t your job. Your job is to present the truth and let the hearer make up their own mind. Furthermore that isn’t showing love which we are commanded to do for our neighbor as we would want it ourselves. Jesus draws with love. His word declares that with loving kindness have I drawn you. How is it that He draws with love and you try to draw with bigotry (a characteristic that is far from Godly). Then you get pissed when an atheist like Bill Maher (brilliant political comic and commentator) shows you just how not like Christ you are being. Again the Holy Bible lets us know that it’s only by our love that people will know that we are His disciples. It’s God’s job to get people to change, your job to bring the opportunity for them to change. Stop trying to do His job. Matter of fact you have enough trouble just trying to get your ownself to change let alone get someone else to change. Stop trying to deal with the dirty sock in someone else’s room when you have dead animals and faeces all over your floor. Clean up your mess and work on you before you try to get someone else to get right. The Holy Bible teaches us to let our light so shine before men that they may see your good work and glorify your father which is in heaven. No one can see any of the work you do because you got crud all over your light causing it to give a dim flicker of light that eventually will have people lost.

So yes I Minister Jesse Jones am in support of gay marriage. Not because it’s marriage because only true marriage is ordained by God. Not because I agree with or support the lifestyle because I don’t it is sin and I pray that all homosexuals come into the knowledge of Christ.  But because I support their right to choose the life they desire and the right to accept or reject God as they may or may not choose. I support civil rights period. That being said I also support being fair. I choose not to be forced to marry them whether in my church or in a park because though I support their right to do it I will not take part in it. I also choose to continue to recognize homosexuality as a sin and will continue to preach the uncompromised gospel of Jesus Christ to all including those of differing opinions, races, sexual preferences, and religions. I am a minister of the gospel and that is what I do and as such I do it with great pride and understanding of the severity of the call to which I have answered. I pray all come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ, that all be saved and none be damned. Grow in God’s Grace and Abide in His Love!

Shut Up and Listen!

Shut up and Listen!

Today’s entry has been in my spirit for quite some time. It stems partially from a lot of reaction that I heard concerning Steve Harvey’s new movie (which I have yet to see but I will) “Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady”. I am hearing a lot of people sounding off about it. Most of whom are like myself and have not seen the movie, though again I fully intend to. They sound off because he has had a couple of failed marriages, they sound off because he’s a comedian, they sound off because they take the title to literally, they sound off because of any number of reasons. Look, here is the deal from my perspective then I will get into where this fits in conjunction with today’s entry. To think like a man but act like a lady is merely saying that women need to understand men better. Everyone and their mother agree that men and women communicate differently. This like of solid communication is what causes that multitude of barriers that we have in relationships. Steve couldn’t tell men how to better understand women because he is not a woman and can’t think as women do (in general and definitely not individually). So he wrote a book which was popular enough to be turned in to a very funny (as I hear it) movie. He incorporated his years of “playa” experience as well as experiences that helped to the falling of his prior marriages. If you look at him now; as I understand he is still happily married, he and his wife have applied some of those principals to their marriage and it is working. The advice given in book and movie form are not law but meant to serve as a guide so that women who can’t understand why they can’t maintain a relationship will have a mirror to look in and hopefully see some of themselves which is supposed to cause change in the behaviors that have negatively affected them in their pursuit. What gets me is there is a show called “Tough Love” on MTV and all this guy on the show is doing is taking women who are having a hard time dating and getting them to see what men are thinking when they see the way they act in everyday life then giving them tips to help them correct those behaviors. MTV has it and no one says boo, but Steve Harvey says it, a man who has turned his life over to God and the whole world seems as if it is up in arms about it.

What does that rant have to do with anything I may say in today’s entry? The bible teaches us to seek Godly council, it also teaches that wisdom listens to sound advice. Why is it that we (especially so-called Christians) have a hard time doing that? The bible never teaches us to look at the source but look at the words/advice given and the spirit on the one giving it when it’s given. Steve’s been divorced so he shouldn’t tell me how to be happy in a marriage. That’s asinine! Completely backwards thinking. If he understands what caused his marriage to go bad then why not try to help someone who is potentially going down the same path to not go down that path. I heard a very wise preacher say,” Do we not understand that all Christianity is, is one beggar telling another beggar where he got some bread.” You witnessing and telling your testimony is you telling how you overcame your own idiocy, escaped the enemies attacks, and corrected your bad behavior. Yet when the shoe is on the other foot we choose to scrutinize it because it pulls the veil and covers off of our mess and exposes it for what it is. Mess! Think about how much further in life you would have been if you had listened to sound words of wisdom given from someone. People like your mother or father, grandparents, Pastors, co-workers,  friends all at one time or another have tried to help your stubborn hard headed self so that you wouldn’t go the wrong way or end up in a situation that was detrimental to you. But rather than listen what did you do? You did it your way and where did it end you up at? Exactly where they said it would. The worst part is rather than take responsibility for your actions, you choose to blame everyone around you for what happened. Upset at them for trying to help you and even more upset because they were right and you weren’t. When all you had to do was listen to the sound advice given.

See advice doesn’t have to come in an appeasing package. It isn’t going to always make you feel good about your pending decision. Often times sound advice will challenge you. It will go against what it is you want to do. The problem is when that happens you vilify those that challenge your direction and call them “haters.” Half of the time the people you call haters are the iron that is supposed to sharpen your iron if you would only but listen to what they are saying and stop being upset at who it is coming from. Learn how to receive sound advice it’s for your betterment. Receiving it doesn’t always mean adhering to it but taking it in serious consideration. The problem is that we don’t ever thing that the word pertains to us or even worse we get offended because it does. Every opposition to you isn’t a hater sometimes it is someone who knows the route you are going and says hey that way won’t work here is a better way and I know this because I already tried that path and got jacked up. Take the advice given to you and pray on it and allow God to truly speak to you that way you know if what is spoken is pertaining to you and your situation or not.

It’s almost comical to me that the people who Steve mean the book for are the people who most hate him for trying to help. Just like we so-called Christians get pissed at our Pastors for preaching real life changing and challenging word that exposes us to us about us. I challenge you as of this day Shut up and Listen and allow God to reveal the sound doctrine of advice that someone is trying to impart in to you because if not the bible teaches us that a hard head (stubborn) is sure to destruction and your pride will cause your fall. Either listen and stand or don’t and fall, that’s just Real Talk. As always Grow in God’s Grace and Abide In His Love.

Dealing with Loss

Dealing with Loss…..

One of the hardest things to deal with in this life is loss. Partially because we don't understand why it happened, especially when you loose someone seemingly before time. Why does this happen, what do you say to one who has lost someone. Through out this blog thus far I have tried to root everything I have written in the teachings of the God's word. However, from my reading and study thus far (no I haven't read the whole bible cover to cover) I haven't found much on dealing with a lost one (whether it be from death or break up or whatever).
I was asked to do an entry on loss by a good friend of mine who has just gone through a very tragic loss. Since that time as I was pondering what I was going to write a few other friends of mine had suffered some loss each in different ways. Breakups, death, and loss of friendships have been plaguing those around me. Different ones asking what do I do, why did it happen, how do I get past it? The only answer I know to give is simply this, trust God and go through. I wish I knew why it was that loss happens and why it is that God allows things to be that don't make sense to us and seem to have a severe negative impact on us. The reality is I don't know why nor do I attempt to try to explain it away, but what I do is simply Trust God. It sounds cliché but it is more true than I can put into this entry. Not only should you trust Him but feel the way you feel.
Some people will tell you that you shouldn't be angry with God when He makes a decision, some will tell you after sometime that you should be over it. Don't let people dictate to you how you are supposed to be feeling. Don't allow people who aren't and haven't gone through what you are to tell you it's been too long so get over it. Feel how you feel. Now I will say don't dwell there but the bible teaches us that weeping endures for a night. Everyone always tries to rush to the end part of that scripture that tells you that joy comes in the morning but before you can get to that morning joy you must go through your weeping nights. Don't suppress it. Go through it. When you feel like crying go ahead and cry. When you feel like screaming go ahead and scream. Your tears, your mourning over the relationship lost will help you get to your morning of joy. Some things truth be told you will never get over but by going through the process and Trusting God you will get better. "Well I’m angry at God, He did this to me"! That is one of many common statements I hear. I say go ahead and be angry with God but just like you are supposed to do with people (if anyone has an ought with his brother go to him) we ought to do with God and tell Him and don't hold back. Fire out all the reasons why you think it's unfair, or unjust, or whatever you are feeling trust me He can take it. Just know that when you do, give Him the chance to talk to you and help you through what you are feeling.
Trust God and feel how you feel and know that He is still able to bring you out. I hope and pray that this entry has been of some help and possibly some comfort to those going through loss of any type. Know that you are not alone, others are going through as you are. Don't isolate yourself get around people from time to time it also helps with the healing process. Remember as always Grow in God's Grace and Abide in His Love!

Changing the future by leaving the past behind

You're Pre-existing Conditions no longer matter. Be free from your restrictions.

Be an agent of change

 

No matter what you have done in your past, no matter who you were or people may try to hold you to be because of what they knew of you. That no longer matters. What matters is who you are now and what you are trying to do now. Change happens one step at a time, doing one thing differently at a time. They say the definition of insanity and being a fool is to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. If you want something different you have to do something different. So what people around you don't think it can be done or don't believe in your vision for your life as long as you believe in that vision and pursue it with a purpose and a passion. Free yourself from the restrictions and limitations of people's mindsets or even your own if that's what it takes. One of my current favorite songs is a song called No Limits by Israel and New Breed. The song outlines the need for taking the limits off. You can only go as far as the leash (limitation) you put on yourself or allow to be put on you but if you don't have a leash (limitation) the sky is the limit. You're not too late, or too old, or too big, or too small, or whatever the limitation you put on yourself. You haven't done so much wrong, you're credit score isn't too low, you aren't too uneducated because your past does not matter. Your past is a pre-existing condition and unlike health care it's been covered. (I feel like preaching right there lol). Stop looking at why you can't and start looking at why you can. The reality is you are your own worst enemy.....stop being so.....become your greatest asset. Take the Limits Off stop making excuses. Be like Nike and just do it. Doing so will cause you to become and agent of change, it will effect and infect your atmosphere and everyone around it (some may leave but that will turn out to be a good thing). Change means a complete transformation from one thing to another thing totally different from the thing it changed from. But change doesn't come easy it is often met with great opposition. Be strong enough to stand that storm, be great enough to (again) pursue purpose regardless of your history. Make your future greater than your past. You're Pre-existing Conditions no longer matter, be free from your restrictions, and be an agent of change. Thanks for listening (or in this case reading lol) and as always Grow in God's Grace and Abide in His Love.

No Limits......

The focal song (performed by Israel and New Breed) for the upcoming tour that God has given me to start along with In God’s Hands Mime Ministry starts off with these words:  

I’m not a man, I can not lie….

I know the plans, for your life……

I’m asking you to dream again,

believe again.

And take the limits off of me!

The song then goes on to say:

No limits (no limits).

No Boundaries (no boundaries).

I see increase all around me.

Stretch forth, break forth

Release me!

Enlarge my territory!

I quote the song not as a shameless plug for the upcoming “No Limits Tour!” but as an introduction to today’s entry topic: “No Limits.” In Genesis 18:14 a question is asked to Abraham due to Sarah’s unbelief. God asked him, “Is there anything too hard for the Lord?” that question is the same question I ask now to believers. Is there anything too hard for the Lord? As I am sure many of you have already mentally answered, no there is nothing too hard for God. But my question then is if we really believe that then why do we try to place Him in a box? Why do we try to limit Him and what He can do? Why do we allow our fears to overcome our faith and cause our faith to be as doubt? If it be true that there is nothing too hard for God and it be true that there’s nothing He can’t do according to His will. Then why don’t we really believe it?

What does God honestly need to prove to get you believe all power is in His hands? How much more does He have to do before you believe that if He said it, it’s so? What else does He have to bring you through before you will accept that He’s got your back? How many times do you need to hit your head against the wall before you realize that you don’t know better than God? This walk, this road, this journey, this life would be so much easier if we just learned the same principal God was teaching to Abraham and Sarah. I (God) can do all things. All power is in my (God’s hands).

We are all the time waiting on God, waiting on some sign from God, waiting to hear a confirmation from God. When the reality is God is waiting on us and won’t move (not can’t move but won’t move) until you move and trust Him. God’s sign was already given to you the moment the thought hit your spirit. God doesn’t need to confirm His word. It’s already confirmed by Him the moment He speaks it to your spirit. Now if you don’t know His voice then that’s a whole other issue and that means you need to get a relationship with Him a real relationship. But for those of you that do know His voice and do have a relationship with Him but are still fearful of moving to where God has called you to move, still afraid to accept the call that God has placed on your life, still afraid to speak the words that He said speak, still holding back when God said let loose, all because you are worried about the unknown. Or you doubtful about the situation you are faced with because it seems insurmountable. Know that there is NOTHING TOO HARD FOR GOD! Cast all your cares on Him (I Peter 5:7) and watch what He does for you. Give it to God, which means pray about it and then stop worrying about it as if it is already done. Step out on faith no matter what the situation is or the call is or the word is because God won’t lead you astray. Even when it doesn’t seem like it’s working out remember Romans 8:28 All things work together for the good. God won’t lead you where He can’t protect you, He won’t have you say what He can’t back up, He won’t allow the enemy to get the victory. Put in God’s hands. Unshackle the chains you put on Him through your doubt of His ability or even you hearing God. Take off the shackles and let God go to work on your behalf. In short in the words of Israel and New Breed

Take the Limits off

Take the Limits off

Release me, to accomplish what I promised you!

Take the Limits off

Take the Limits off

Release me

Release me.

No Limits!

I pray this has been an encouragement to you causing you to take the limits off of God. Remember Grow in God’s Grace and Abide In His Love!

Patience....Just Wait!

Today’s entry topic comes as a result of a request due to an issue a good friend of mine is going thru. In a word what is definitely needed is patience. Patience is defined as an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. It is also defined as quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence. So basically it is the ability to deal with delay without complaining and being anxious. It is truly a very basic principal of life not just a good Christian walk. So if it is so basic why do we have such a hard time with it? The answer is easy, we are selfish! Selfish, selfish, selfish, as well as very arrogant and conceded. Now I know that may come as a harsh blow to some egos but it is nonetheless the truth. We want what we want when we want it and it doesn’t matter what has to happen in order for us to get it so long as it’s quick. We garner our relationships with people and God that way, we handle our decision making that way, we handle our money that way some much so that we’ve got a commercial screaming about it “It’s my money and I want it NOW!”

So yes we are selfish. That is the place our lack of patience comes from. A deep, dark, selfish, conceded place. It’s even worse for us Christians (so-called I might add). We believe that just because we are Christian and because we believe in the Holy Bible that we should never have to wait for our blessing ever. Oh sure we won’t say that with our mouth but we sure do with our actions and no I am not exempting myself from this. We will sit on our job wanting better (and there is nothing wrong with that) but won’t wait long enough for the instruction on when and how to move. All we need to know or feel is that it is time to go and boom we are done like a finally grilled steak. We don’t seek God’s advice about it we just go and there are even occasions that we won’t go because we are too impatient and want to know how everything is going to turn out. So we will wait even though God said go and go now. We won’t go because we don’t have the patience to endure the unknown of the journey God is trying to have us walk out toward our perfection. So we’ll sit on a job and watch as everything and everyone around us suffers because like Jonah we are in a place we have no business being.

Patience helps define your character as a believer. If you can’t go through this little bit you have to go through in your training for where God is trying to take you then how are you going to deal with the devil when he unleashes hell against you when you get to the place God has for you? If God can’t trust you to move now when He says go and go now but doesn’t show you the complete picture how can He trust you to step out on faith for something He’s trying to give you. Patience in various ways has to show itself forth in every aspect of our walk.  Here’s a harsh reality if you can’t grab patience you can’t effectively serve God. In James the 1^st chapter and 4^th verse we are told to let patience have her perfect work that you may be perfect, entire, and wanting nothing.  But the way patience has its perfect work is through obedience and taking you through things designed to strengthen your patience. God doesn’t just give you patience, he establishes it in you by making you work to get it and work to perfect it by exercising it. It’s like going to the gym to lift weights. As you are lifting your body gets tired and sore. Muscles are being stretched as you are lifting weight time and again. This process can be tiring and at times painful but the thing is you don’t immediately see the results. As a matter of fact most people don’t even know their own strength until they have to use it in the real world outside the gym.

Patience works the same way. As you go through you are being stretched and strengthened. Your ability and effectiveness are being fine tuned so that when you must use your patience; for example having to be there for a family member or friend who is just determined to do wrong but constantly wants your help, it’s there for you and that with great supply.

Patience is also key to getting the blessing God has in store for you. In Galatians 6:9 we find Paul instructing us to not get weary in well doing for we shall reap if we don’t faint.  A farmer must go out to the field daily; after he has planted the seeds, to water and nurture the seed even though right now all he can see is ground and dirt. Then even after the seed sprouts forth and up comes the plant he still must water and nurture until that plant produces the fruit he first envisioned it being. This process can take years to come to pass but that farmer just can’t stop and say to hell with it. Doing so would ensure he will never have a harvest. He must exercise Patience. This is a principal key to ensuring that you allow God’s will to be done in your life. The truth that not many talk about is that God won’t do a lot in your life without you first allowing it. You must submit to Him even when His ways don’t make sense to you (cause they won’t a lot). Your submission will cause your obedience which will allow Him to develop a track record with you and that positive track record will help increase your faith which according to the book of Hebrew in the 11^th chapter without faith it is impossible to please God. All of that comes from the seed of patience. You say you trust God then be patient and allow Him to work on your behalf. You are not His first client He knows what He is doing. Trust Him, wait on Him, obey Him, and in the end you will see all that God has for you come to pass. I hope that this has been a help to whom it was intended for and to all that read it and share in this topic. Remember as always Grow in God’s Grace and Abide In His Love!

Leave the Past Behind You!

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never get here. This is a cliché many people use but truthfully don’t walk completely in. There are a lot of people who have a great concept of the very real fact that you may never see tomorrow but the problem comes in with yesterday being gone. Too many people have allowed their past to have a hold to them. This is a topic that I am writing on today that I struggled to hear to write about today and is a topic that hits very close to home because I am not exempt. My past and things that have occurred in my past like many other people haunts me to this day. I go through every year and have since I was 13 years old gone through what I have now deemed “My Season”. This “season” is a time where the attacks hit me the hardest and go the longest. It usually ranges from Nov 1^st – Feb 15^th of every year. This attack I go through continually deals with incidents and hurt that has occurred in my past. I found as I began to openly expose it that it is something I am not alone in and actually because of how far I have come it’s something that I can help other people with. The one thing about the past is it is just that it’s past. It’s over and there is no going back to do it again or make it different. Whether it be a death of a loved one or a bad break up or something worse there is nothing you can do about it but let it be in the past. I try daily to live by a motto (and am very good at it save for my season) and that motto is the past is the past leave it there. We must understand that no matter what we have gone through it’s over and can’t hurt you again, it can’t effect you again. Yes it happened, acknowledge it (whether it be you’ve sinned and fallen short [which we all do] or someone has hurt you) and begin the process of being healed from it. The devil loves to use the past to keep you stagnant. He’ll put things in front of you that will remind you of your past or cause people to call you a hypocrite because you are no longer your past. Anything to get you to not continue to pursue after the things of God. However, there is a solution and it is found in Philippians 3:13 &14. Paul says I count not myself to have apprehended but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those which are ahead, I press toward the mark of the prize of the high calling which is in Christ Jesus.

What Paul is saying is first of all I don’t have it all yet nor do I have all the answers (neither do I) but this is one thing I do have. I’ve learned and am learning to forget those things which are behind me. Put them away. Don’t pick them back up and continue in the same ole same ole. They happened and I can’t change that but I won’t let it continually keep me from getting to where I am going. I ran track in high school and one thing my coach kept fussing at me about was not to look back to see where my opponent as coming from. He kept saying run your race. You can’t focus on them because then you lose focus on the race you are running. Everytime you look over your shoulder to see the your opponent (your past) you lose a step. The more steps you lose the easier it is for your opponent to catch you. The same is in the spiritual realm. The more you focus on your past the easier it is for the enemy to have a hold of you. Keep looking at the mark. Paul said I reach for those things ahead of me. My coach said it this way, keep your eyes on the finish line (eye on the prize). Beating your opponent isn’t your goal finishing the race is. If you run your race you can win the race. If you stop looking back and allowing your past to take a hold of you, you can win and conquer your past.

The last thing I will talk about in this text is that Paul said he had to press. It’s not going to be easy to let go of your past. It’s going to be a struggle because the enemy as I said earlier will use all tactics to remind you of your past and keep it in front of your face and in your mind. But you’ve got to press on. When you feel those thoughts creeping up and you start to feel the reaction of the emotion of your past hitting you stop what you are doing, rebuke the enemy in the name of Jesus and take back control of your mind. Press on! Press on! Press on! Your past is over and can’t come back but you can push and move forward. It’s not a getting over it, it’s a getting through it. You move to get through the past to move toward where God has you to be. As always Grow in God’s Grace and Abide in His Love!

The Truth

I decided to go a different route today in my entry. I decided to speak to you in the form of a poem I wrote a while back. Now to be honest (irronic that the poem is about the Truth) if you are a facebook friend of mine you might remember this poem as it is in my notes section on fb. This poem also caused a little stir due to my usage of the word "damn" as an emphasizer to the point being made and to that I say now the same thing I said then "stop being so super holy that you can't even catch the message" so of you will heed that and others won't but the beauty of Real Talk is I'm not doing this for you I am doing this as I have been commissioned to do. My goal is to please God in everything I say, do, and type I could care less if I please you. Because when you seek the Truth for who the Truth is what you will find is that less and less of what people have to say to you will bother you. I pray you enjoy and become motivated to move outside the box and move to hear God and seek Him (the Truth) and don't stop until you find Him. God Bless!                                                                                                                                                                    The Truth by Jesse Jones You want the truth but its like Jack said, "You can't handle the truth." The thing everyone sees, but no one wants to hear. A concept that flows and lives deep in your soul. Its torture, torture to see those things that deceive for what they are. Lies, lies that cut, lies of esteem, lies of religion, politics, and self. Lies we cover ourselves in to mask the ugly imperfection of man, Lies to her, lies to him, lies to we, lies to them. We encourage our kids to just be who you are when all the time no one accepts the unconformed. The individual has died and been buried beneath the inner and outer lies. No one gives a damn to take a stand to be who you are created in the glory and image of Him who is Holy. Ostracized you'll be if you call out the lies you see. Combative, debative you're labeled forever when you chose NOT to agree to the pointless lying banter. Loved ones will turn because you shine a light on them. Hypocrite you are called when you don't lie to cover your own sin. You're working on you while being called to help them. You're going insane cus no one understands you're a truth seer, a truth speaker. But your truth is not theirs, you cant bend or shape it to fit your own whims. It's absolute, it's who you are raw and pure. It's rough and ugly but it's consistent. The truth is in me, the truth is in you. Its time we stand together and take off the clothes of conforming and put back on the clothes of who we truly are made to be. Me being me and you being you. And that's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

                                                                                                                                                                

I hope that has been a blessing to you to seek the Truth and who He really is! Jesus said "I am the way the Truth and the life." Understand that if you aren't seeking Him there is no way you can have a true identity. Without a true Identity you are living in the falsehood of conformity this poem speaks to. Your identiy the true identity of me being me and you being you is found in the uncompromised identiy of Jesus Christ. People don't like the truth and don't want to  hear it spoken and will cover the total truth up with everything that have. However my mom used to tell me all the time a half truth is a whole lie. But I am a truth teller and truth seeker even at to the rebuke and correction of my own self. I am one of those seemingly rare people that will admitt to wanting to always be right because I have found not being right can send you to hell (some of yall will catch that and some won't). So I as I close today I pray once again that you get on the mission of seeking Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth but in seeing it know you will only find it in Jesus Christ. Remember as always Grow in God's Grace and Abide in His Love!

Relationship or Religion

A few months ago, God had a conversation with me that really blew my mind. Through this conversation He gave me a revelation and insight into the depth of the conversation which is why it blew my mind. God spoke to me and said “Jesse, my people don’t know me. They have forsaken relationship for religion. They claim to be my own but I don’t know them. They would rather perform church work than the work I have put their hands to do. They would rather hear the voice of the Pastor that I am speaking to then learn to hear me for themselves.” It was then that he asked me a question and started to give to me a revelation that completely changed the way I not only deal with Him but how I operate in general. He asked me if I were to want people to know about me would I rather they read a book about me or would I rather them talk with me? My answer was I’d rather have them talk with me. Then He asked me why. My answer was simple, even if there is a book about me it is still not going to contain everything about me. There will be things that unless you talk with me you won’t fully understand. Not only that, but there is insight into why I operate as opposed to just how I operate. And here’s the revelation He gave me. God spoke and said “then why are my people choosing to only read about me and not to talk to me?” That question, that revelation is the essence of this entry today. Some of you all probably won’t agree but honestly I don’t care whether you do or not. Some of you will read this and continue with business as usual, some will think I am waging and ungodly attack on the bible, but hopefully there will be some that just like me will catch this and change the way they operate in order to get a true and deep relationship with God.

We’ve all heard and or quoted the statement everyone that is in church ain’t saved. Some even say it this way, everyone who say they are saved ain’t going to heaven. But do you ever stop to think about where that statement comes from and what it actually means. Well biblically it comes from Matthew 7:22 & 23 which reads:

22.) Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord have we not prophesied in Your name, and done many wonders in your name? 23.) And then I will declare to them, I never knew you; depart from Me, you who work iniquity.

Wow, please note that these people on judgment day are proclaiming to Jesus what great works that they did in His name and yet they still could not enter in. How is that possible? If they were workers of iniquity (iniquity meaning sin) how can they then still have done these works? You’ll find the answer in Romans 11:29 which will let you know that when God gives a gift or places a call on your life He doesn’t take it back. He may render the anointing on your life dormant as He did Samson for his disobedience but He never takes it back. It’s irrevocable. These people who stood before Jesus operated in their gifts and callings but operated in them through the flesh. The most telling thing about that scripture is that Jesus said depart from me for I never knew you. That statement shows they had no relationship with Him. Now we all have had someone who we say that we know but we just really know of. By that I mean you know the vital stats, i.e. name, stature, possibly their address, and maybe a favorite hangout or two but you really don’t know them.

What you know is superficial and a lot of it is probably based off of what someone told you about that person which is exactly how we do Jesus. We sit and listen to our pastors Sunday after Sunday and hear them talk about this great man called Jesus and they use terms for Him like “Lilly of the Valley” that they heard someone else use who heard it from someone else that if you look biblically that is a term used in the book of Song of Solomon with Solomon referring to one of his concubines. This has nothing to with Jesus but yet we say it as if this is a reference to Him. We hear preachers say He is our healer but yet we don’t know Him as that for ourselves, proof of that is everytime we get sick rather than pray being our first reaction, go to the doctor is our first reaction. Don’t get me wrong I thank God for doctors, there is a great reason why they are here but they are not to be my first resort.  But that comes only from having a relationship with Him. We have a religion with Jesus but not a relationship. We do things out of ritual, tradition, and habit which is why it’s religion. One of the alternate definitions of religion is continued practiced of a ritual i.e. going to church every Sunday morning.

 We have practiced something for so long and taught our kids to practice something for so long we have no idea why we do half the things we do. I heard a story that is so appropriate for this entry. A mother and daughter were preparing thanksgiving dinner when the daughter of the daughter comes in the room and sees her mom cut a ham in half put one half in a pan to roast it in the oven and the other half she throws away. The daughter perplexed by this asks her mother, mom why do you do that? The mother (who is the daughter cooking with her mom) says I don’t know ask your grandmother. She goes over to her grandmother who is cleaning the vegetables in the sink and asks her. Grandma, why do you cut the ham in half, cook half and throw the other half away.  The grandma says to the little girl, I don’t know I got it from my mom; go ask your great grandma she is in the living room watching t.v. The little girl goes in and says nana, I asked my mom and my grandma and no one can tell me, why do we cut a ham in half cook half and throw the other half away they say they got it from watching you. The great grandma looks at her great granddaughter and says I did it because I didn’t have a pan big enough to hold the entire ham so I had to cut it in half and had to throw the other half away, I’m not sure why they still do it.

Do you see the point of that? We have done somethings for so long that we have no clue as to why we do them. People are operating under a spirit of religion as opposed to the spirit of God. You’ll hear them say things like that’s the way it’s been and that’s the way it’s going to stay. You’ll hear them buck against things they think aren’t of God not because those things aren’t anointed or are truly not of God but because they don’t like them. Seasoned and younger Christians do this. They do it because they don’t have a true relationship with Jesus Christ. They have a relationship with their bibles and read them on a daily basis even (some of them). But they still aren’t doing what that Holy Bible says to do: “Study to show yourself approved unto God” (II Timothy 2:5) Studying is more than just reading the bible. You’ve got to take what you read and ask God to give you a revelation on what you read, you’ve got to put what you’ve read into practice so that you can see if it works. Reading your bible alone won’t get you into heaven that’s the equivalent of the question God asked me. All you are doing is reading about Him instead of getting to know Him. How much time do you spend in prayer and meditation with him throughout the week? How much of your prayer time is you talking and not listening. Remember prayer is a conversation if you do all the talking and no of the listening you didn’t pray, you didn’t converse with God you vented. Get away from strictly religious practice and get to a place where you begin to get a relationship with Him. Don’t allow yourself to be one of those who on judgment day will say all of the things you did in His name and He still say but I never knew you. Wouldn’t it be a shame to have given up all that you have and gone through all that you did just to be like Moses and not enter into the promised land to dwell with Jesus forever? Put down your denominational doctrine, I don’t care if your Baptist, COGIC, Apostolic, A.M.E, Methodist, Non-Denominational or whatever you claim to be. Stop claiming to be it and start claiming to be a child of the King, a Christian, a member of the body of Christ. That’s what you need to be but the only way you get that is to get a relationship with Him for yourself. No one of you have a relationship with someone through someone else. Someone else may have introduced you to that person but you don’t only know them because of whomever introduced you to them. You don’t go that person’s house and hear them talk to you about them. No, if you do you have lost your mind. Well if that won’t work in the natural then why would you think that would work in the spiritual? He longs to have a one on one relationship with you not a 3 way with you, your pastor, and Him. Don’t forsake your relationship for religion leave your religion and walk toward a relationship with Him. It’s the only way you’ll hear Him say, “Well done my good and faithful servant, you’ve been faithful over a few things, now I’ll make you ruler over many, enter into the joy of the Lord!” (Matthew 25:21) Remember as always Grow in God’s Grace and Abide in His Love!

Dating 103....Communication

I was recently involved along with my wife in a conversation with some friends that turned into a couple’s counseling session. The theme for the counseling session started out being how to keep the spark in your marriage but turned into a serious lesson in intimacy and communication which ironically is the exact way to keep the spark in your marriage.

I’m going to talk in terms of relationship dating but also try to parallel this to married couples as well (especially being that the type of intimacy we were talking about only married people are authorized by God to do). The single biggest reason relationships go stale is because you do. You stop asking questions of your mate and you stop listening to them. Your ability to hear your mate and push to learn new things about them is absolutely paramount to the success of your relationship. One thing my wife does a very good job at when talking to our daughter (who is not allowed to date yet) is she teaches her how to make herself attractive to a man without trying to use her physical attributes. (Men reading if I were you I’d pay close attention to this as well because the same thing applies to you). She tells our daughter that the best way to get a man interested for the long haul is to take an interest in him and the things he likes. I’m a huge wrestling fan (yes I’m a wrestling fan), it is a complete turn on that my wife can on occasion get into wrestling (especially if it’s live and especially if Randy Orton is wrestling). She goes on to tell her about how she was never a real sports fan but she knows most men are so she began to take an interest in sports, she did the same with cars, chess, and other things that people she dated at the time were interested in. Doing so gave her a strategic advantage over other females who may have been interested in her man. The advantage was that she could know communicate to him on a level that set her apart from others pursuing him. She was able to communicate to him and just as importantly as her talking (because sometimes some women can talk too much) she also was able to actively listen (which men we need to learn how to do better).

Now understand there is a difference between actively listening and just listening. When you actively listen to someone you are engaged in the conversation, your face and eyes show that you are interested in what is being talked about. Please believe that the person you are listening to can tell if you don’t want to talk about that subject they may not care that you don’t want to talk about it but they sure can tell. Your face and eyes will give it away every time. But not only do you appear to be engaged you can comprehend what is being talked about so that when your turn to speak comes you actually have something to say. Active listening is a lost art in communication. Nowadays we humor people in conversation. We allow them to speak what’s on their mind and tolerate their audacity to do so. Instead of actually hearing them and taking an interest in them. The worst thing for a relationship and the quickest way to kill it is to tolerate the conversation.

My wife is trying to teach my daughter these principles that will help her establish a great relationship with her future husband. But as I said before men, we are not exempt. We can not expect them to listen to us, watch our shows, and talk about our days when we ignore them on that level. I know more about Bridezilla (which actually is a pretty decent, funny, yet sad show) and David Tutera world famous wedding planner than I probably should. But that is because I took time to sit down and watch these shows with her. I took the time without her asking me because I saw that she was excited about them. Before I talk about my day when I see her when I get off work I ask her about hers because she had a day to. My wife is working too. As her husband and as her mate I should be interested in what’s going on in her life. Not because I am trying to check up on her because I don’t trust her no. I do it because I am genuinely interested in what is going on in her life (and yes I trust my wife). Everything in our marriage shouldn’t revolve around me nor should it revolve around her. We are in this together so we both have to actively participate in this.

The other key to communication which will help you establish and cement a great relationship is being open to talk about things you like and don’t like. I have a saying I use all the time in my house. “If I don’t know it’s broke how can I fix it?” That statement is so true. I can’t fix or change what I don’t know is bothering you, similarly I can’t know to continue doing what you don’t tell me you like. This is not just a sexual reference. This reference goes to every area of the relationship. How can you get to know what is truly apart of someone’s character and what is just a characteristic they have taken on if you aren’t honest enough to tell them what you like and don’t. My good friend and spiritual sister Dana and I were talking and she said it’s crazy how many relationships end because of unvoiced expectations. I promise you that is so true. Allow me to present an extreme case example. Let’s talk a man who was raised in a house almost as if it were straight out of the Old Testament. Let’s have that many marry a woman with a new millennium mindset. Now here’s the extreme part of the example some of you still will miss. Let’s say she comes home from work on a day he had been off from work and she finds him in their bed with another woman in the act of coitus. She gets crazy angry at him and is ready to divorce him. Throw your spiritual hallelujah Jesus minds out the window for a second. If you can place that aside; who is actually wrong in this scenario? I can see internal argument going now. Most of you will say he is wrong because he is married and shouldn’t be sleeping with someone who isn’t his wife. Some of you are probably saying she is wrong because you assume this is a trick question and just don’t want to be wrong. The rest of you don’t know and wish I would shut up and tell you the answer already. Well ask and you shall receive……..they both are wrong. There is an expectancy assumed by both parties. She assumes because of how she was raised that it is a common thing to expect your husband to be faithful. He assumes because of how he was raised that she knows he is going to have concubines. Those assumptions led to nothing being discussed and that lack of a conversation led to an expectation that was never communicated. Now I know some of yall are too holy to get with that example but look at it in your own life. A lot of the disagreements and arguments you have had with your significant other have been because you got upset at something you assumed of them but you never took the time to talk about. If you don’t communicate it, it’s very unfair to get angry about it. Communication can at times breed behavior and characteristic change. Meaning that I will cease from doing this thing that bothers you because I love you, I will also start doing this thing you like more often because I love you. These things you can do that with are characteristics. There is nothing wrong with taking away from or adding to your characteristic. You character is who you are, your characteristics are what you do.

This type of open and honest communication is the door to phenomenal intimacy. That type of intimacy (married couples) will lead to greater intimacy and passion in the bed room as well. Remember your intimacy isn’t just in the bed room. Intimacy has a great little saying with it. It is said that intimacy is simply in to me I see. That isn’t just the bedroom that is the living room, the car, the amusement park, on the phone. That type of intimacy keeps the spark in the relationship and will ultimately keep it going. If you are dating that type of communication will spark desire or just as important will cause you to realize this person is or is not for me which then allow you to move forward with little reservation or cut it off more quickly so that you aren’t wasting your time or your heart. Communicate and listen actively and see if your relationships don’t get better. God bless you thank you for reading and as always Grow in God’s Grace and Abide in His Love!