Reflections of a Child turned Father

As I reflect this Father's Day on being a parent. I’m finding out things about me I had never known before. I am finding out about the patience I have and impatience I have. I am finding out that much the more what it means to love someone so much that sometimes it hurts. For you see my daughter is quite possibly one of the bravest, most stubborn, sweet, innocent, obnoxious, loving, caring, irritating, did I mention stubborn, beautiful, independent child that I have ever known. I love her so much that I want to see the best for her more than she will ever realize but that love sometimes goes against what her will is. There are times of conflict where I would have her to do one thing or act one way and she wills do it the total opposite way. There are times where she whether do to ignorance or independence will go off and do things that could be potentially dangerous to her but her naivety doesn’t allow her to see that decision could be costly. Yet I love her anyway and it hurts deep inside to see her in any kind of pain, to see her make a mistake, or see her not get the best things she desires.

As I reflect on being the father of a teenage daughter I realize more and more how much she can sometimes resemble my relationship to Christ. There are times when He would have us to go or say or do and we do the exact opposite because we think we know better. We as parents know our sacrifice for our children and at the drop of a hat would give our lives for them simply to see their desires be fulfilled and for them to not have to struggle. Christ has done the same for us and yet like a teenage child we sometimes take the sacrifice for granted. My daughter has a tendency much like most teenagers to think she is entitled to certain things because she knows we would do anything for her. How many times have we as Christians taken Jesus for granted and feel he just ought to bless us because if nothing else that’s what He’s always done and He says He loves us so….



My Family - Me, my wife Falonda, and my daugher Ashley. God has been so good to me!


As I reflect on this monumental responsibility called parenthood I reflect on the thought that in order to be a better parent it means I must be a better child. I must not take my God for granted, I must obey His way for He knows best even if I want to go another way, I must leave those behind He shows me are no good for me, I must keep His words close to me and remember them at all times, I must spend more time with Him and get to know Him and develop this relationship even more closely than ever before. Doing these things will cause me to be a better parent because my Heavenly Father will show me and direct me how to be a better father. He will increase my love for my daughter to the outpouring of love that He has for me not merely an unconditional love, but an eternal love that penetrates past the flesh to the spirit and soul and with compassion compels righteousness to come forth. Discipline which is to correct when correction is needed but freedom to experience the mistakes that are sure to come that will help develop her to be who God has called her to be and with love be there for her with love during those mistakes.

Through this reflection I have learned that I have had fatherhood completely wrong. I used to think that in order to be a good father one had to look at the child and that finished product of a child now turned adult would dictate whether or not the father was a good and effective father. But I have learned and am now in the state of practicing that what it means to be a good father is one’s ability to love your child through good times and bad, richer and poorer, sickness and health, obedience and rebellion (yes just like marriage vows) till death do you part. A good father is love. A love that no matter how that child turns out; because it is up to that child, that you as the father (parent) love them. Love them with when they become what you see and when they don’t. Love them! It’s a concept that seems foundational and basic but when I say love them I mean to:
Listen to God’s direction
Obey His commandment for each situation
Validate and cherish the gift He’s given you
Educate and impart into them what God has imparted into you with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding

Train them to love, obey, and hear the voice of God
Help them; as they will struggle along the way
Edify them in the faith of God & in their natural minds, speaking well of their good & correcting their bad
Maintain the edicts and precepts of a Godly house and what it means to be a Godly person in their ear daily.

These are the things I have learned and prayerfully as I grow and become a better father, I do so not at her expense but my growth causes her to grow and become even greater than whatever it is that I am.

Ashley I love you more than you know and am glad and proud to call you my daughter.

I hope and pray that this message though as a tribute to my daughter Ashley and a reflection on what she has taught me and God has revealed to me that parents both single parents and non single parents alike will read this and be blessed by this and take note of what it means to be a parent and to truly love your child. Train them up as the bible teaches, training invovles instruction, correction, direction, and information but it also involves leadership by example. Be the example for your child just as God was the example for us. Grow in God's Grace and Abide in His Love!